*to Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Κυνόσαργες

Wednesday 11 April 2012

"Ooh, that smell. Can't you smell that smell? The smell of death all around you."

I am not going to compare the virulence of the smell of one people against another: people do not smell the same the world round, but smell they do.  In Toronto, the smell of a crowded transit vehicle is a sebaceous pong; in Japan, a fecal fug.  Someone else can do legitimate science to determine if the differences have roots in DNA (possible), diet (likely) or BMI (probable).  I should not leave out gender or age.  Most Japanese women are olofactorily insignificant.  As my conscience does not allow me to ride in the ladies carriage, I am stuck among the men in the others: three-quarters of the riders are men between forty and soon-to-retire, wearing suits which would not be dry-cleaned every day.  Though I am sure most of those 'salarymen' would imagine I smell worse than them*, I doubt it as I bathe both evening and morning, and do not survive solely on a diet of alcohol, grease and despair.

My strong smell-memory should motivate me onto my bike.

*Why else cringe from taking the seat beside me?

8 comments:

  1. I'm just here to give thanks for reminding me of a great Lynyrd Skynyrd tune

    **looks for ipod**

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  2. "and do not survive solely on a diet of alcohol, grease and despair" = awesomeness.

    I really noticed the smell, if you could call it that, when I returned to Australia. Not a human smell but just people being so heavy handed with the perfume/deodorant/after shave. Still gross.

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    1. Yep, I appreciate your compliments on my turns of phrase, but I think this conclusively disproves that you can't come up with anything better. This is beautiful.

      I once had one of those massively annoying 'We Japanese' conversations when I mentioned I'd slipped in the shower one morning.

      In the morning? Apparently all (yes, all) Japanese people have baths at night because it's relaxing and keeps the bed-sheets cleaner. My pleas that they'll get dirty anyway because it's summer and you're going to spend the next seven hour sweating - then go to work caked in that sweat - were dismissed as usual as crazy foreign logic.

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    2. Thank you.

      It is bad for my skin, water and electricity bills, to take two showers a day; but it is good for my marriage to take the evening one, and for my own comfort the morning one. I hate to agree with the Japanese, but the evening ablutions do wash off the filth of work and strangers, as well as one's own. I agree with you that a night of sweating needs a rinse to follow. When I exercise in the middle of a day the number of washings gets stupid. Laundry the same.

      Yet when I go hiking for a week, with no chance to wash above wrists or below the neck, my skin is never more youthful. I would not say the same for my smell.

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  3. I believe dehydration has something to do with the oyaji smell. A typical oyaji has a diet high in coffee and beer (for fluids). Both can contribute to dehydration, making their breath smell like dead body fermenting in a suitcase.

    By the way, I love natto.

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  4. I'm so glad I can ride a bike to work, dealing with the smell of teenager (arguably equally bad the world over) all day is bad ebough without the joys of a crammed train. Sir, you have my respect!

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  5. In the summer, when nights are warm enough to sweat despite the thinnest of sheets, a cold morning shower is plenty warm. A little of the oyaji-smell is definitely better than that of indigestion and halitosis at close-range.

    Peace.

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  6. I assume diet plays a role too. I have hosted exchange students from all over the world and some have a different smell than what I am used to while others do not. Usually a few days of eating what I eat and they probably smell like I do. And to me I smell like nothing, I wonder what they thought I smelled like when they first arrived?

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